He is your constant.

You will never leave.

Your love’s sustaining me.

Before I even knew, what love was.

You brought me here to rest & given me space to breath.

So I’'ll stand still until

It sinks in.

And I will lean back in the loving arms, of a beautiful father.

Breathe deep and know that he is good

he’s a love like no other.

I first heard these lyrics on my way to grab a lovely coffee made at one of my favorite shops and it caught my attention. You know how sometimes you are listening to something and you genuinely don’t know what is being said? That was me until the first lyrics hit and my emotions hit me. I didn’t understand in the moment why this song on this day grabbed my attention as quick as I did, but as I listened I quickly realized it was all I needed to focus on. As I listened; I realized these were all the things I was struggling with. You see, I didn’t believe God would never leave me. I didn’t believe God’s love was my full support. I didn’t believe God was my resting place (at least I didn’t feel that way). And I didn’t believe that me sitting and waiting would bring me comfort and his love. I didn’t believe any of these things. I struggled knowing what God was even doing in my life and wondered what more I could do.

The thing is; I struggled with all these things because I didn’t fully believe God was my constant. Honestly this is something I have fallen into thinking often. Random questions come in and leave me thinking that God’s love changes. If this has happened to you, I want you to know there is absolutely no shame or guilt for you. He will fully prove himself to you in the randomist moments and show you his love in so many ways. He is a God who is ever loving, always patient and beyond secure. He is steady. He is constant. Often as we face these moments of questions, doubt and honestly just a feeling of numbness to him; he shows us. He reveals his heart and his nature. Though right in that moment he could do it; he often doesn’t.

He stays close and helps us through as we cling to him even closer. You see, those questions and doubts of his love occurred weeks prior to hearing this song on my drive. I hadn’t felt them since and then he reminds me to listen. So rather than rushing in to order my coffee that I very much could have benefited from, I sat. I listened. I replayed the song and I felt him so closely. He is patient with us. He sees us always. He knows what you need. He is constant and always steady.

I wish this encounter with the holy spirit has fully freed me from those questions and doubt, but that isn’t the case. In a sinful world with brokenness surrounding me, sometimes these questions come up more than I wish they did. But I have begun saying “you will never leave, your love’s sustaining me” and by speaking this truth boldly, I am better able to fight through the doubts and fears and firmly believe and know my God is always constant. Speak the truth over the lies. Remind yourself of who he is. Read his word. Be fully reliant on him. He is your constant & won’t ever fail you.