YOUR UNEDITED SELF.

Today, I want to give us all the opportunity to dig into the deep places. The not so pretty, nitty gritty of ourselves. I feel often that this doesn’t happen but when we allow ourselves into the deep areas of our lives; breakthrough happens. We live in a world where we sit at the surface and often don’t even have the energy to see the raw and unedited version of yourself. There is no need to hide when we have a God who sees you just as you are. we must refuse to hide.

As we hide, we build societies, communities and kingdoms where we present only the self we are comfortable showing. I know this because this was me. For so long I spent majority of my life not being my real self. I disliked how I looked, fell into the comparison game often and didn’t understand my purpose here. The outside world had no idea; but deep down it was eating me alive, I just had no idea how bad.

My mind was thinking in this way majority of the time :

I’m not jealous of her, she is just prettier than me. It’s the truth so I might as well say it. She is better than I am at everything.

I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I want to feel loved. If I just have a huge group of friends then that’s how I will feel.

I refuse to quit. I am strong and can do things on my own. I refuse to week and showing a flaw is to show weakness.

I’ll just do life on my own. I won’t let anyone know anything because then no one will know my struggles. It’s not being cold hearted, i’m doing a favor to others so they don’t have to deal with my problems.

No one can read your thoughts. Be fully honest with yourself.

Why are we so afraid to see ourselves as we are? Why do we tuck our struggles so far down to the point it’s a battle to bring them up?

FEAR.

Fear is the reason we don’t. We are fearful of what they might say. Fearful of what the next steps are. Fearful to face the realization of who we really are. Fearful no one will love and accept the unedited version of us. The real us.

The thing is, I get it. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I promise you one thing.

I GET IT. I fully do. I hid everything for so long. It’s easier, right? no. It is absolutely exhausting and only draws people to a fake me, which creates an unrealistic expectation of who I am. The moment I sat with my pastor and fully unrevealed all of my true feelings is what began the journey of not living a masked life. As you do unravel it all and break down the walls of our hearts, you’ll experience true grace and freedom.

Grace that covers and loves you in the midst of the dark. A grace that gives us the permission to see the ugliest and darkest areas of our hearts.

I want you to see the raw and unedited version of me because it is the place where God does the most beautiful and divine work. I want you to see that God works amidst those and you are still loved as ever before. God can heal all the areas if only we reveal them. I want you to live a life of real pure confidence, joy and strength similar to Paul, where those were found within his weaknesses. I want you to kill any desires to live falsely or covered. I want you to truly meet Jesus at the foot of the cross with all your muck. All of the rubbage you hide; meet him there. That is where you will experience the grace, freedom and true healing to live a life unedited.

Your full, true self is found in Christ Jesus. That is where your identity truly lies.